Should anyone beside me happen to be reading this... M guess/hope, is it's Asriel. [No offence intended to the others; but the story-teller makes the most sense] I wonder just how long I can make this last… To the world around me, I am naught but a simple Trap-master. I open things people cannot open themselves. But, as many know, my talents can have a more malevolent intent... and do. I am a Lady, belonging to a very particular Kingdom that is not Karameikos- and that is all I will say on that subject. For those who know what that is, and what that means... Will know in part why I feel a need to try so hard, to do so much good.
Believe it or not, that's not the... most surprising thing one can learn about the cold entity that is Violet. Maybe the fact I'm an artist, a writer of songs will be. Sometimes I draw things, as the mood strikes too. Or perhaps that Asriel was right about me once- Violet's not quite my real name. It's funny, we've all been together for quite some time- and they don't know this simple, but deeply-meaningful thing about me. Do they know me? Did they ever? Names have power, so I have been told; and I wonder, just how much truth is held to that fact. Read on, through the composure of my tale- a saga of torture and pain.
Violet Silverthorne is only one of two names I possess. The other name I claim, the one given at birth... I was- am- K'ia'ela Cobble; though my particular family does have the last name Silverthorne. [To those I adventure with: rip this page out and burn it, then NEVER tell my family you know my other family name. If asked, you can tell them Ki'ae'la Silverthorne sends her love] Violet is the name of the Iron Ring slave, given by the first Owner I had. She thought it a twisted delight to demi-humanize me, before breaking me in. I am also marked as 33579- my slave number. You know this. But you don't know the extent... myriads of hidden scars tell my tales.
Growing up, I was a warm and happy child. Hard to believe, but it was true. Though I looked a bit odd, people loved it- and because I was so distinct, I was especially good. Oddly, I never wished to follow the family trade; my older brother Isengar did that- while my sister Selina wanted to have her own family. As for me? I wanted to follow in the foot-steps of my Uncle Tahnlan, one of Petra's Scout-Paladins. When I was 12, in the early summer days… My practice took me a little too far from home- and I was captured by Iron Ring. Thus beginning a long tenure in slavery... Many hands- each disgusting, sadistic, twisted and cruel- left their horrifying imprint on my body, mind and soul, until there was nothing left… My family was driven to near-financial ruin, looking for me for all those years- for the longest time, in deepest vain. My 'friends' turned coat on me time and again- the ones who lived, anyway. All the suffering and pain… it’s all my fault. I should never have gone into those woods. I just wanted to practice with my sling- as I had seen my uncle Tahnlan do. We all wondered where he had gone… And now we know. Gods rest his soul, he didn't deserve the ending he received in Highdell Keep's chapel.
Cold comfort comes, as I reflect on how much an 'exotic' girl like me went for. The pretty young thing with purple hair and amethyst eyes, passing as a young girl or proper woman... A spirit of fire, a warmth and light- the perfect challenge for those who love killing souls. I reflect on the slavery, the depravity those who handed me around came up with. The only real defence I ever had was to passively accept, taking my mind out of the moment. Each time I passed hands, my Owners grew worse. Starting with Mistress Paradox, as she likened herself to be- all the way to the Blood Angel Of Karameikos. Eternal his scars I retain on body and soul. Though only my siblings and parents have seen them... My body is a landscape of horror. And those are the ones I can remember. To this day, I still cannot recall my escape, save for vaguest traces. Leviticus' superior was preparing to visit. People were a little slack, a bit too focused on making sure everything looked good. Opportunity presented itself, and I took it. That winter's night was fortunate; cloudy, not unpleasant to one without clothes. The lack of moonlight saved me, since they could not find my tracks in the dark- and winds blew them away before daylight. So much diamond dust, disappearing into time. Winter's chill pushed me to run, unending to collapse...
Gone
was the warmth, innocence and happiness. In its place, deep-hearted
terror, unending rage and soul-crushing despair… all buried under
thickest ice, smothered deep in the darkness that had consumed me. Forever after I retained my slave name and number- even in a time of ‘freedom’ from that accursed Iron Ring- to remind myself of what I am. No longer am I a person- they ripped that away from me long ago. I am but a toy, a tool to use and discard when finished. Even after escaping to that frozen winter’s night… Eventually found half-dead, shambling in the snow… My use as an object did not cease. Rather, I just changed hands after recovery. How do you think I ended up in the hands of less cruel people? The same way I did the first time- by making a mistake. The only difference was, less violence was used to give me that purpose.
These days, I have freedom to adventure- and take it. In part to try undoing the damage. And in part, since few are willing to meet the Iron Ring head-on. A need for atonement, paired with a hatred, and eternal guilt… Besides this hunting, I send money home- to rebuild what once was. Lives are ripped away- vindication for all the innocent blood spilled. One day, I will destroy them all. However... No freedom can ever shatter the bondage of a corrupted body and broken mind, of this I know. Strangely, those who have been by my side, who are by my side… They make it all easier to bear. When we all first met at the Storm Crow, I had no idea of the adventures we would have in store. Everything from the return of Raven, to the various deaths.
To me, one adventure will always stand out- Highdell’s liberation. Even now I sometimes wonder if Asriel has forgiven me, given all I’d put him through. Though if I were to make the offer I once desired- for him to use me as he saw fit- he’d be suitably horrified. Sera, no doubt, would be irate; they spent a lot of that time consoling me, lending softness with their strength. Were she there, I wonder how Rolen would have reacted to such things? The pain of seeing my uncle Tahnlan, so many charred bones. Hysteria snapping my sanity, I trying to rip the body of Nazin Redthorne apart. Witnessing the horror in Gremath Stables- muffled screams, blood-darkened blade, the evil of Leviticus’ twisted grin? Perhaps its best, to simply let those thoughts lie. Silver, I wish I knew what heaviness in mind and heart plagued you. Your story fascinated me, the mysteries you carry unsolved. Maybe one day, you'll find some solace- I sincerely pray you do, and I want to be by your side as you do. I’d love to hear your stories, on the day you are willing to tell them. We all are, I believe. Rest in peace, Magnus. You’re fondly missed, even though we knew you not well. I wish I had more time, to learn who you are. To stand beside you on your journey, as you stood beside me on mine. I’m sorry I cannot.
Thorin- from the first I've envied you, even if I was ice-cold at the start. Your strength, your courage, your ability to persevere and shine- that’s a trait all of us could stand to have. Never lose that brilliance- as I once lost mine. I'm sorry I'm so difficult to bear; as time goes on, I’ll try to be warmer to you. Jordan, I hope your journey brings whatever you wish to find. Though I know not what you seek, I will be here to help you find it. I promise. Time spent with you is always a delight; I can’t wait to see what else will come. And please, for the love of everything- stop dying. Jordan… There are no words, for much losing you that last time really hurt. You have no idea how we miss you; especially Sera. Our hearts are broken- I feel like so much was lost with your passing. Wherever you are, I hope we meet again one day.
Sera- I know something caused you great distress. Those threads don't come out, after all. You seek vengeance, I'm willing to bet- may the Gods grant it, or deliver upon you peace. And may our friendship develop to such a state, that I am one day worthy to be called as such. In the wake of Jordan’s loss, I swore to myself I would do everything I could to try and fill the void in your heart. My only hope I’ve been at least a small bit successful- with everyone's help.
Asriel, you're a rare and beautiful soul- one that these worlds desperately needs. Your stories fascinate me, and you bring a light to the darkness I admire every day; thank the gods our paths crossed, even if we are at odds sometimes. For whatever my word is worth [which I realize is probably not much] all I can say is I’m sorry I’ve been especially unkind to you. None of you deserved it- but you bear the brunt of it. I’m trying to be better.
Dearest Rolen- what can I really say? Something about you... I find you warm, kind, sweet [you are the cinnamon roll, after all], and... just… a delight to be around. Like Sera and Asriel, I want to look out for you. Not too many people draw this softer side out of me [Even the other two took considerable time to get this out of me, so it says something that you immediately pulled it out from its confinement] I feel like we get on well- and I can only hope you agree. As time goes on, I’m sure we’ll have plenty of good times together.
Last, but certainly not least… Ki’ae’la. Dear Ki’ae’la… In the drawing Jordan made- was that you he saw, reflected in the embers in my eyes when Leviticus was destroyed? In that cellar, after facing Nazin- were you the one who answered Asriel? You must have- I could never be that warm. Will you come back… Can all the chains binding you fully break, allowing you to surface once again? I'd like to think so. And I believe you have- when the ice broke, just for a moment. Violet and Ki'ae'la- two sides of a coin. You are reflected in the art we create. In the tender moments- all the times Sera sat with you in Highdell. The moment at the Standing Stones- or when you gave Rolen Jordan's Healing Cord. Violet may be dominant- the cold, ruthless fighter leaving horrendous trails of death and destruction in her wake everywhere she goes. Sometimes indistinguishable from the very slavers we escaped from. It's okay to have a softer side, though- you deserve to shine once more. Things are scary, but I promise- they'll love Ki'ae'la, just as much as they like Violet.
Should these words be read- well, I'm probably deceased. In the event I'm not- please return my diary when you see me again. Though it's extremely likely that I am. In that instance… Burn my body, take the ashes to the Peach Baker or my family. But if that's not possible... If I am well and truly gone... My sling, I don’t know. You’re all on your own, alas; cause I'd want everyone to have it. In Mistamere library, is a collection of things from adventures I’ve acquired- all of you are free to do with its contents as you wish. Any money or other items I have- keep, sell, give to the family. I don’t really care.
Sera, if she’s on my body at the time of death… Take Briarthorne. She’d do incredibly well in your capable hands. [and if not, you get first pick at the collection in the library except the ember box] Asriel, take my diary, keep it close- as the the best story-teller I’ve ever met, it would mean a lot if you held onto my words. Rolen, I would like for you, to take the rose pendant I wear, plus the gems in the ember box- I think you would be even more beautiful with it all. And... please, all of you. Never stop fighting for the greater good. You and my family are all I've left. Though Violet has lived in a shroud of shadows, beneath thick walls of ice... Ki’ae’la has returned. My sincerest apologies are given- for I am difficult to bear. My deepest thanks are given- for giving me hope. My strongest sentiments are offered- I can only imagine the pain. And my endless love is extended- for how incredible you all are.